Gratefulness. Patience. Hope.
Three key words that God constantly puts into your mind as your sitting in the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room. Three words that Satan tries to erase from your mind and replace them with anger, impatience, and just plain giving up.
As I grow older ( slowly haha ) I always think of defining moments in my life that have changed how I walk my walk and talk my talk.
The first major thing that happened in my life was in the first grade. Now let me just say, thank the Lord that this happened when I was so young, because I could simply not handle it at the age I am at now.
Sometimes, God blesses us with misunderstanding so we can deal with a situation and have a child-like hope. I was clueless, and sometimes we don’t need to know or understand everything, we are God’s children, so we shouldn’t totally understand why he is doing things in our lives.
One evening at my grandparents house, when my younger brother was nine months old, he woke up from a nap. This nap was the death of a normal life and when he woke up, he was a new person with a new life.
He began acting, well, weird. Drowsy. Fatigued. These adjectives did not accurately describe my little brother. He was a fierce and rough spirit, and was already running around the yard and getting himself in worlds of trouble. But this little brother isn’t the one whom I know today.
Later that night, the stroke began to effect him. The left side of his body totally shut down. He couldn’t even smile without it being lopsided. Half of him was gone, made new.
He was quickly moved from hospital to hospital, until he was moved to my states largest children’s hospital. He was then moved to the emergency unit. We didn’t know if he would make it.
What a dark time that was. But God’s love showered us. His plan was always and is always good.
We left that hospital with new knowledge. He had a very rare brain disease that I can not even pronounce ( much less spell correctly ) and they didn’t know how long he would make it.
Two years later, he went through an extremely intense surgery. I was so young that I became accustomed to these hospital visits, and they were just a waiting game for me. Seven hour surgeries deeply strain the patience of a ten year old.
My brother can’t use his left hand, and there are some parts of him that were changed by his stroke and disability. But, God has definitely changed him into the person he was meant to be.
Never have I met someone who compares to my bother. An individual with such a genuine smile and such an optimistic view on life. No one else feels and loves as deeply as my brother. He loves who he is, he loves his ” lefty ” ( which is the nickname for his hand that can not work. ) My brother may not be able to use his left hand, but he sure knows how to live. He is the strongest person I know. I admire how he loves others, and I try to love others as good and pure as he does every day.
Not many know about his conditions, but it has become such a normal incident in my life that I don’t feel as if it needs to be mentioned, because he is so much more than his disability. Already, his life is a unbelievable testimony and has changed and impacted so many around him.
The doctors say that my brother could pass away or have another stroke at any day. There is no guarantees. But I know that God has quite the plan for him, and he won’t be leaving us anytime soon.
My brother has taught me how to
1- Trust in God’s plan
His plan is much bigger than we could ever realize. He makes the bad things good. Even in our darkest times, our God is with us, ALWAYS. God brings things, challenges, and people into our life right when we need them.
2- Have constant joy
Life is so great, there are so many small joys hidden within. Searching for lightning bugs late at night. Singing along to the radio at the top of your lungs. Getting ice cream and laughing with your family. Always have joy, and don’t be afraid to sing and dance whenever you feel like it. Have fun in life, you only get to be on this earth once.
3- Realize life is temporary
I’m very young, and at my age, everyone thinks that they are infinite. This is a feeling that I have never really felt. I know that death can come as easy as the sun rises every morning, and that’s okay! Because this is not our home. Our true home is with Christ our Savior in Heaven. Even if my brother does pass away much sooner than we expect, my tears will be of joy because of how much joy his smile brought to me. How amazing it will be for him to enter the Gates of Heaven And oh, how the Lord must love that little boy.
I guess I wrote this so maybe people could see a part of me that I really have never opened up about to anyone. I’ll admit, it is a hard and emotionally draining topic to talk about. I never want people to think I’m searching for sympathy or pity. I just really don’t like to think about the fact that my brother might not be here to bother me or play Mario cart with. Or someone to hug when I cry for accidentally throwing away the kid’s souvenirs when I get back from a trip. His caring soul blows my mind away. That little boy can make me ugly cry like no other.
I crave to to inspire others to beat the odds, fight the spiritual battle that Satan attacks you with, because the plan God made for you is much bigger and lovelier than you can even comprehend.
He give strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fail; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Through all of these hard life incidents, I am blessed to know that God has made me a strong soul through this unfortunate event. He gives us strength that can push through the hardest of battles. As Christians, we are called to be strong. We need to have the strength to lead others to The Gospel and show them the love of the Lord. And what is love without strength? Temporary.
I pray earnestly that God will bless strength into all of His children’s souls, it is much needed.
– 4•15•17 –