Today is day 25 that Bryce has been gone. It’s so weird not having him here with me to start off the school year, but somehow I’m surviving.
It’s so, so hard having a boyfriend at bootcamp and not being able to talk to him. This experience has been one of the most stretching ones in my life. I often catch myself reaching for my phone to text him. And sometimes I almost call him because I want to ask him to come over. But sadly, I don’t have that privilege anymore.
This experience has also gave me so much appreciate for first of all those who serve in the military, and an appreciation for those who love someone in the military. It is one of the most self sacrificing things to give up literally your entire life and everything you know to go serve your country. It will take you all over the world, and change your life from normal to protecting the normal.
It’s really hard not having Bryce here. But thankfully, all of this is almost halfway over. I’m so, so proud of him because I would never be able to do what he is doing right now. I’m so amazed by his strength, endurance, and motivation. Whenever I’m working on homework or at volleyball practice and I want to just quit, I think about what Bryce is doing and it really helps me keep going.
I dream of the day I can talk to him or see him. I know that these days may be few and far in between, but they are what give me hope. Sometimes I just break down and lay in my bed all night and cry, but I’m trying to limit those nights as much as possible. Overall, I’m doing a pretty good job at staying positive about everything.
Something that’s really interesting is that when I’m at my lowest of missing him and feeling like I can’t take it anymore, God places a blessing in my life that gets me through. A sweet note from a friend. A group of amazing girls praying over me and Bryce. A fun dinner. An “A” on a test. An awesome evening spent worshiping God. God is blessing me so much through this hard time. Some people would be so mad at God for placing their boyfriend in the military. But I am praising him now more than ever before. I’m praising him because his plan is perfect, even if it isn’t the ideal one I think of right now. I praise him because he has a wonderful plan for the guy that I love, one where he can help others and use his talents. I’m praising him for an opportunity to focus on just me and my talents, faith, and school.
He is so good. Sometimes we ignore his blessings in the hard times, but I want to encourage you all to praise him during these times. It is the only thing that will get you through. If I wasn’t a believer, I don’t know how I would be handing all of this.
A song that has helped me through this is called Weep With Me. Some of the words that stick out to me are:
Part the seas
Lord, make a way for me
Here in the midst of my lament
I have faith, yes I still believe
That You love me
Your plans are to prosper me
You’re working everything for good
Even when I can’t see
So, things are pretty hard right now, but I’m still praising God! I’m also so thankful for a way to communicate with Bryce. I have received three letters from him, and I am so thankful he has written me! I’ve also sent him about 20, but hey I want him to know I love him 😂 have a great day everyone, please be praying for Bryce today – Cami